Thunder's Thoughts: WWE Royal Rumble 2012
by Joe Thunder
Typing this one live tonight with more action and less opinion. Hope you enjoy it!
Up first is the World Heavyweight Championship match between Mark Henry, the Big Show, and Daniel Bryan! I predicted Bryan to hold onto his title in this match. They brawl back and forth and Bryan repeatedly tries to climb out of the cage. Bryan eventually climbs up the cage and Big Show follows. Big Show holds onto Bryan but Bryan eventually falls from his grasp to the floor to retain the World Heavyweight Championship. One for one so far on my predictions. That one was sort of a no-brainer. I'm legitimately hoping that outside of the elimination chamber match for Smackdown that Show and Mark Henry are now out of the World Title scene in regards to the Championship match at WrestleMania. Not a terrible match here that went for about 15 minutes. I didn't expect much more than the same sort of brawl style action that we've seen from Show and Henry since last July. Bryan's speed climbing gave him a ridiculous advantage in this match as he was able to hold onto the World Title. Overall, WWE proved that they care less about Smackdown by booking this sort of match(with the obvious outcome before the match even started) and, also, by having it first and deeming it less important than Cena/Kane and the WWE Title match.
We have a rise above hate John Cena video package shown. Can't wait for the "un-cena" like moment where he goes to a different level to defeat Kane later on.
We have an impromptu 8 diva tag match with the Bellas, Beth Phoenix, and Natalya taking on Kelly Kelly, Tamina, Eve, and Alicia Fox. I'd rather see a tag team match with Primo and Epico. This one is lasting longer than I thought. The divas all brawl outside and Kelly dives to the outside onto all of them. She throws one of the Bellas back into the ring and Beth Phoenix tags herself in and hits Kelly with the glam slam for the pinfall victory. Nice to see Beth Phoenix back now that her black eye is healed up. I love how Alicia Fox has hardly been used on tv after that incident. Could've been a worse time filler here I suppose. I still would've rather seen a tag title match.
Backstage segment: Zack Ryder is wheeled in and shown his own area by John Laurinaitis. Eve walks up and rips into Laurinaitis and tells him she wants him fired on Raw tomorrow night. JL says that's gratitude for ya. Eve calls him an ass and Ryder says wwwyki. Eve wheels him into his room.
John Cena vs Kane is up next. Major boos for Cena as he comes to the ring. Cena and Kane go back and forth and work their way to outside of the ring. The match ends in a double count out. Really? The brawl goes on after the match and Cena is pissed. They move to the backstage area and continue exchanging blows. Kane uses a steel chair repeatedly on Cena. Kane sees Ryder's door and kicks it in when he can't get it open. Kane goes after Ryder and uses the claw on his face. Kane pushes Ryder in his wheelchair past Cena towards ringside. Time filler much? Kane dumps Ryder out of the chair to the floor and tosses Ryder into the ring. Eve comes to the ring to plead with Kane to stop what he's doing. Kane picks up Ryder and hits the tombstone piledriver. Cena runs to the ring as Kane goes towards Eve but can't overpower him. Kane hits a chokeslam on Cena. Making Kane look dominant much? Cena haters must be pleased right now. Were those actual tears on Eve's face? Ryder gets hauled out on another board. It would have been nice to see the guy wrestle. Cole, Lawler and Booker T play up the seriousness of the situation. More time without Zack Ryder on tv. Way to go, WWE.
Up next we have an impromptu match with Drew McIntyre taking on Brodus Clay. This is our filler match? Where are the tag team champions tonight? Hope they're at least in the Rumble match. We're told that McIntyre will not be in the 30 man Rumble match and requested a match on the show tonight. There goes my upset special to win the damn thing. Brodus squashes McIntyre in a short match. McIntyre is talented and has the look that WWE Management wants in their main event scene, so why on earth does he continue to lose over and over? Impressive buildup for Brodus here as usual. I wonder if we'll see him in the Rumble match later on.
Next up we have CM Punk and Dolph Ziggler with John Laurinaitis as the special guest referee. Laurinaitis sends Vickie Guerrero to the back before the match starts. Laurinaitis stands outside as the second referee with a regular official on the inside. I was expecting Laurinaitis to be in the ring, but I'm assuming he will be the one to count the pinfall for Punk's victory in a little while. These guys put on a solid match for the first five minutes with back and forth action. Punk hits a huge sitdown powerbomb but only gets a two count. Punk hits a bulldog and calls for the GTS. Ziggler wiggles his way out and sends Punk for a slingshot which Punk stops before hitting the turnbuckle. Punk hits a huge kick to the head and gets another two count. More action as Punk goes on top for the flying elbow and connects on Ziggler but only gets ANOTHER two count. Punk goes for another GTS but Ziggler pushes Punk into the ref. The ref is down on the outside and JL is checking on the ref while Punk uses the anaconda vice and Ziggler taps but JL doesn't see it. Punk gets another pin on Ziggler but JL refuses to get in the ring after missing it. JL rolls the ref in the ring and gets in Punk's face. Punk picks up Ziggler for the GTS and nails JL in the back of the head. Punk gets another pin but JL refuses to count. Punk yells at Laurinaitis and goes for another GTS but Ziggler reverses into a fameasser. Ziggler only gets a two count and gets pissed. Ziggler goes after Punk. Punk hits a slingshot into the corner and another GTS that both JL and the referee count the pinfall for. JL hands the ref the belt to give to Punk and claps his hands. Guess JL decided to play nice to try and save his job tomorrow night. Good match from these two, but I'd like to see them go for a half hour with zero interference. JL is clapping and smiling at Punk as he heads to the back. Can't wait to see how this plays out on Raw. It's unfortunate that Dolph will probably not see another title shot after the elimination chamber event.
It's time for the 30 Man Royal Rumble Match and The Miz is our first entrant. Miz cuts a promo before number two enters. He talks about defying the odds. Alex Riley is number two. Riley is eliminated by Miz. R Truth is the third entry. Cody Rhodes is number four. Miz and Rhodes work together and double team Truth. Justin Gabriel is five. Gabriel uses his aerial maneuvers on Rhodes and Miz. Primo is out as number 6. Miz eliminated R Truth. Mick Foley is number 7. Foley eliminates Primo. Foley and Rhodes do battle. Ricardo Rodriguez is out next as number 8. An FCW wrestler! Mike Lightning should be happy right now! Miz is still hanging out on the outside of the ring after Truth pulled him out there. Justin Gabriel is eliminated by Mick Foley. Santino Marella is out next as number 9. Santino gives Ricardo a wedgie and then eliminates him. Santino and Foley face off. Foley pulls out Socko and Santino pulls out the Cobra. Funny stuff. Out next is Epico. Foley uses the sock and pushes Epico over the top rope. Miz is back in the ring now. Rhodes eliminates Santino. That's sad. Rhodes eliminates Foley and Miz and Rhodes are left in the ring. Kofi Kingston is number eleven. Jerry Lawler is number twelve. At 62, Lawler is making a good showing taking on both Rhodes and Miz while Kofi is down. Cody eliminates Lawler. Ezekial Jackson is number 13. Ezekial attacks all three guys in the ring. Jinder Mahal is out next at number 14. The five brawl and the Great Khali makes his return as he enters at number 15 in this match. Khali eliminates Mahal. Khali eliminates Ezekial. Hunico is 16. Five guys brawling once again in the ring. Booker T is number seventeen! Cole is pissed that both Booker and Lawler were in the Rumble. Miz can't eliminate Kofi as Kofi does a handstand to the steps to save himself. Amazing! Dolph Ziggler is out as number 18. We now have eight guys in the ring as Hacksaw Jim Duggan enters at number 19. Terrible. The crowd loves it as they do a loud USA chant! Rhodes eliminates Duggan. Rhodes and Ziggler eliminate Khali and Booker T at the same time. Number 20 is up and it's Michael Cole. I'm sensing some fans are angry right now that we're wasting actual Rumble spots on some of these people. Karma is 21? Wtf? Third female to ever enter the Rumble. Michael Cole climbs over the top rope and is pulled down by Booker T and Lawler. Karma slams Dolph Ziggler and Vickie Guerrero looks pissed. New rivalry here? Karma eliminates Hunico. Ziggler eliminates Karma. Vickie looks happy. Sheamus is out next as number 22. Sheamus eliminates Kofi and beats on the competition. Road Dogg is out at number 23! He's wearing a DX shirt! Doubt we'll get a reunion. Road Dogg beats on the heels and does some shake rattle and roll on Rhodes and a pumphandle slam on Miz! Vintage attitude era here! I love it! Number 24 is Jey Uso. He's my new favorite to win this thing(sarcasm). I love how my top heel picks are still in the ring. Time to build some better faces to match this talent! The US Champion Jack Swagger is number 25. I expect Swagger to be eliminated before the rest of these guys. Wade Barrett is number 26! David Otunga is number 27. Waste of a spot even more than Michael Cole. Orton is out at number 28. Lots of heels for him to take out. The ring is loaded! Orton does a double ddt on Ziggler and Rhodes. Orton eliminates Uso. Orton eliminates Wade Barrett. Chris Jericho is number 29! Jericho eliminates David Otunga. Big Show is out at number 30. I don't expect Big Show to win this one. What about Christian or one of the champions? Not impressed right now. Show eliminates Cody and Miz. Show eliminates Ziggler. Sheamus, Jericho, Show, and Orton are the final four. Orton eliminates Show and Jericho eliminates Orton. Orton looks pissed as it's Jericho and Sheamus in the finals! Jericho is going to win this now. Sheamus goes for the celtic cross and Jericho counters and pushes Sheamus over the top rope. Sheamus hangs on even after a kick to the head. Jericho is kicking Sheamus but Sheamus stands up. Sheamus does a diving shoulder block into the ring on Jericho. Sheamus tries to put Jericho over the top rope but fails. Sheamus goes for the brogue kick and misses. Jericho locks in the walls of Jericho on Sheamus. Jericho goes for the clothesline and gets tossed over the ropes but holds on. He goes up top with Sheamus and Sheamus goes for the superplex but Jericho fights him off. Sheamus falls on the ropes and is outside on the apron with Jericho. They are both back in the ring. Jericho hits a codebreaker and goes for a pin. He continues the attack on Sheamus. Jericho pushes Sheamus over the top and Sheamus teeters. Jericho slaps Sheamus. Sheamus hulks up and Shoves Jericho. He misses a brogue kick and Jericho goes for a codebreaker that Sheamus catches. Sheamus tosses Jericho over the ropes and Jericho holds on. Sheamus brogue kicks Jericho off the ropes and WINS the 2012 Royal Rumble.
Sheamus is going to WrestleMania. I couldn't be happier with this. I'm not sure how many people thought Sheamus would actually win this with all the buildup, but I'm glad he did! Raw Column will be out sometime Tuesday! Hope you enjoyed the show!